IF SHE DEPART, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED

Here is a clear statement that shows how inviolable Christian marriage is. We have noticed in our thoughts on verse 10 that believing couples are being addressed in these verses. Only if the husband’s behaviour has gone beyond the pale and he has abused his wife consistently should ‘she depart’ and, if she does finally make the decision to leave, then remarriage should never be contemplated whilst her husband lives. This would no doubt apply equally (but less commonly) where the position is the reverse and the wife has been guilty of the intolerable behaviour.

Some teach today that a partner who has been injured is ‘the innocent party’ and that therefore they are entitled to obtain a divorce and remarry. However, our scripture says ‘let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband’ - no exception being given. What could be clearer?

Even after the behaviour of the husband causes the wife to take the serious step of leaving, the Lord enjoins ‘be reconciled’. In today’s modern society, those who separate often do so with the set intention of never being reconciled. However, even if the intention is for the separation to be short term, the parties often become emotionally disengaged and new relationships may be entered into. In the world very few marriages are saved once separation occurs. Is this because, contrary to this scripture, reconciliation is not considered?

It is accepted that when the behaviour of the other party has been extreme there needs to be evidence of true repentance and change before reconciliation can take place. If these things are in evidence, then the injured party should seek to be reconciled. This will take much grace not only on the part of the offended partner but also on the part of the one who has been guilty of the insufferable behaviour.

The word ‘reconciled’, Greek ‘katallasso’, carries the idea of mutual change from enmity to friendship. Reconciliation must be the chief objective if separation has taken place, for much is at stake: the happiness of the parties and the testimony of Christ in the circle of all those who know the couple.